my good knife

Sometimes I read incredible poems and think, "this poem is too heavy-hitting for me today, I need to save it for later," and then later comes along and I'm like, "you know what? Yeah." Warnings for themes of abuse and violence, and also this poem fucking slays.

I know better than to leave the house
            without my good dress, my good knife

like Excalibur between my stone breasts.
            Mother would have me whipped,

would have me kneeling on rice until
            I shrilled so loud I rang the church

bells. Didn’t I tell you that elegance is our revenge,
            that there are neither victims nor victors

but the bitch we envy in the end? I am that bitch.
            I am dogged. I am so damned

not even Death wanted me. He sent me back
            after you sacked my body

the way your armies sacked my village, stacked
            our headless idols in the river

where our children impaled themselves
            on rocks. I exit night and enter your tent

gilded in a bolt of stubborn sunlight. My sleeves
            already rolled up. I know they will say

I am a slut for showing this much skin, this
            irreverence for what is seen

when I ask to be seen. Look at me now: my thighs
            lift from your thighs, my mouth

spits poison into your mouth. You nasty beauty.
            I am no beast, but my blade

sliding clean through your thick neck
            while my maid keeps your blood off

me and my good dress will be a song
        the parish sings for centuries. Tell Mary.

Tell Eve. Tell Salome and David about me.
        Watch their faces, like yours, turn green.

—Paul Tran, "Like Judith Slaying Holofernes," Poetry, 2018.