where your heart is

Be broken. 

Lie there

on the ground

in the wreckage

until you can feel

all of your new jagged

edges individually. 

Notice how much more

surface area there is to you now. 

Notice there's a rhythm to the stinging. 

It will lead you back to your pulse. 

Try to move if you can. 

Follow the path the pain takes

when it forks and sharks

through your body. 

Focus on your uneven breath. 

Try to love the way it hitches now, 

how each drag of air cuts

through the field of panic. 

As your thoughts struggle

to harden into words, 

return to your breath. 

Pull yourself into sitting

as best you can. 

Be tender. 

Try speaking. 

Grasp the leathery

harness of your voice. 

How long have you been crying? 

Hum something

your mother taught you. 

Anything is fine. 

Feel it vibrate in your chest. 

That's where your heart is, 

still beating, 

still wrestling life into you, 

still pushing back against the world. 

—Mindy Nettifee, "Zen of the Broken," from Rise of the Trust Fall, 2010.